Got thru another year

losing a child is very hard no matter how long its been, But passing the 17 year mark for some reason was huge for me. I think just due to the fact I’m still alive..


Trying to continue your life after losing a child

Tomorrow will be 17 years ago my daughter was taken from me. And I swear I hear her calling me in my sleep. For a while after her death (murder) I would try not to sleep. Cause I could never save her in my dream. For the first year I spent more time at her grave then any where else , Hell I slept there more then once. I was a single parent that had worked very hard to give her a good life. In fact we had this deal, I took care of her for her first 18 years of her life and she promised to take care of me my last 18 years. Well that didn’t work out at all. Now did it!!!!! I’m alone now when I should be enjoying my grand kids and having a son in law. you know the normal things in life we take for granite.. I would give my life to have one more day with her.


very first blog

Trying to keep self worth in 2017, God help us all.

I believe I made it through this far is due to my support team Ive always been blessed with some really awesome people in my life. And they let me talk about it over and over till I could find some peace of mind.I slept on her grave site more then once that first year. I was so misplaced after her death. I really didn’t know what I was going to do. I know I wanted to mask the pain.I had just became management at my job the same day she was murdered. So I had a ruff start and the job  was around a lot of kids.i found myself in the walk in crying way to much. when I lost Crystal for the first 3 weeks I was told she took her own life, and knowing my daughter she wouldn’t harm her self, she may kick your ass but hurt her self no, But then Robert told me that Crystal had cut her arms months before.

I didn’t know who to believe, I know that Crystal loved life.