Trying to continue your life after losing a child

Tomorrow will be 17 years ago my daughter was taken from me. And I swear I hear her calling me in my sleep. For a while after her death (murder) I would try not to sleep. Cause I could never save her in my dream. For the first year I spent more time at her grave then any where else , Hell I slept there more then once. I was a single parent that had worked very hard to give her a good life. In fact we had this deal, I took care of her for her first 18 years of her life and she promised to take care of me my last 18 years. Well that didn’t work out at all. Now did it!!!!! I’m alone now when I should be enjoying my grand kids and having a son in law. you know the normal things in life we take for granite.. I would give my life to have one more day with her.